It is amazing that we often expect our children to be polite but never teach them how to be polite. This is especially important for Brooke since her ability to overhear conversation is minimal; I need to teach her polite conversation skills.
One thing that really gets under-my-skin is receiving presents. My children are sometimes rude when I bring them home a present. I hear things like, "I don't want that!" or "Why did you get me that kind, I wanted the other one." Even worse, if they receive a present from someone else and respond with a "I already have that" or "I don't like it".
Recognizing that my anger is a sign that I need to teach my children a real-life skill, I took action.
I gathered 3 gift bags and put a present, something from around the house, that I knew they wouldn't like. I made them funny with the hopes that the skill will stick in there heads. I put some pink panties in Jake's bag, a toy spider in Kate's bag and Brooke had a dirty towel.
Our lesson:
1. When you are handed a present, before you open it say thank you to the person who gave it.
2. Once you open the present say thank you again
3. Say one nice thing about the present (this was the hardest part so I gave lots of examples about liking the color, what you can do with it, or where you will put it.
4. Say thanks you again.
It looked like this:
I hand Brooke a present and she says, "Thank you Mommy."
Open the present and say, "Thank you. I can use this towel to help you clean. Thank you."
Now this doesn't always happen as planned, but at least we are learning to be polite!
Repetition is essential for young children to learn social graces. You should give your child as many opportunities to practice as possible before your child is actually given a present. Be creative.
1. You could have a gift box with a lid that can be used over and over. You could put different toys, clothes, or books your child already owns in the gift box and role play giving the gift to your child. The object will be a surprise, and your child will have to think of something nice to say about it.
2. You could have gifts of small presents for your child to practice saying thank you throughout the holiday season. Some parents have small daily gifts throughout December, especially to focus on teaching their child to say thank you.
3. If you have more than one child, they could take turns giving and receiving real or pretend presents.
Repetition is essential for young children to learn social graces. You should give your child as many opportunities to practice as possible before your child is actually given a present. Be creative.
1. You could have a gift box with a lid that can be used over and over. You could put different toys, clothes, or books your child already owns in the gift box and role play giving the gift to your child. The object will be a surprise, and your child will have to think of something nice to say about it.
2. You could have gifts of small presents for your child to practice saying thank you throughout the holiday season. Some parents have small daily gifts throughout December, especially to focus on teaching their child to say thank you.
3. If you have more than one child, they could take turns giving and receiving real or pretend presents.
Be Specific in Your Praise when Your Child Remembers the Proper Etiquette Technique
1. “I was so happy to see the way you smiled at Grandma, hugged her, and told her, ‘Thank you.’”
2. “I appreciate that you remembered to say what you liked about Grandma’s gift.”
1. “I was so happy to see the way you smiled at Grandma, hugged her, and told her, ‘Thank you.’”
2. “I appreciate that you remembered to say what you liked about Grandma’s gift.”
3. “You cleaned up every scrap of wrapping paper!”
Don’t Criticize or Embarrass Your Child in Public if He or She Forgets the Etiquette Technique
Remember that young children need lots of practice.
Remember that young children need lots of practice.
Repeat the lesson again later.
Give more opportunities for practice.
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